I have read many self development books over the years which ask “what is the perfect day?”, and then go on to describe some possibilities and ways to get there. I’m not quite so sure that I agree with them based on the overall results which I have noticed from people who have engaged in the suggested techniques and activities.
It seems it is often about ways to get away from where we already are, as if that is not “good enough”. The question to ask is will I really be all that satisfied when I do create that so called perfect day. Why don’t we spend a few moments and find out.
Looking for ________ in All the Wrong Places
It seems we spend quite a bit of time running around trying to fill a void within ourselves with experiences and objects which are powerless to do so. Obviously we believe they do have this power as we initiate our search, but we quickly realize that any satisfaction which is derived from obtaining these false idols of contentment is short-lived. Feel free to fill in the blank above with anything that comes to mind which you think will make your life better in some way.
It is not as if there is anything wrong with experiencing fulfilling relationships and gathering some toys here and there. The challenge is when we “expect” them to bring us the type of gratification, happiness, and joy which they do not internally possess.
When we empower things and people outside of ourselves with the keys to our happiness, we have placed ourselves in a very vulnerable position. We are no longer the conscious determiners of our lives, but the victims of the whims of others and the ever-changing scenes within our view.
We have to go no further than observing the many prominent people who have achieved much worldly success and wealth, but are still experiencing uncertainty and distress of one kind or another. This is not surprising at all when we just dig a little deeper, and are able to see that we have things upside down. Let’s see if we can remedy this a bit.
Why Things Aren’t as Perfect as They may Seem
When we are figuratively chasing our tails, we cannot expect to arrive where we truly desire to go. Regardless of all of our running around, it is happiness which we seek and most cherish. Peace and contentment are more valuable than all the treasures of the world, and there is a part of us which truly understands this.
All the glitter and fame may well produce a very enticing image to be sought after and achieved, but it cannot give us what we most truly desire. There is nothing wrong with accomplishments and a luxurious lifestyle if that is truly what one desires to experience. Our challenge and problem is when we demand these people and things to make us feel good. It is just not possible.
If we are not happy now, we will not be happy regardless what our circumstances may be. How perfect things look on the outside has nothing to do with how we feel within. Our level of peace, happiness, joy, and contentment originates from a much different source. It is not about, “I will be happy when ________ occurs.” Again, fill in the blank with what comes to mind.
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” — Friedrich Nietzsche —
When we ignore the simple things which occur each day we do ourselves and others a grave disservice. We deprive ourselves and those with whom we are in contact in some way during the day, all of the joy which exists right now. Things are not as perfect as they may seem because they lack the substance of this basic simplicity of life.
When we have all these expectations of how things should be, instead of how they are, we get confused as to who is actually creating all this stuff. We have forgotten there is a part of us Who is aware of what we really desire, and that we are responsible for what we see and experience.
When we get caught us in day-to-day stuff where things appear just to happen to us out there, we have neglected our responsibility as creators of our lives. We are acting as pawns in a chaotic world.
Waking up to this can be a Key to Freedom which we have been searching for. Just by questioning what is really going on puts us in the enviable position to regain the reigns of the tremendous power in our possession, which up to this point, we have not been consciously directing.
In order to do this we need to do a Reversal of Roles in which we are engaging. The role of Victim will not produce the type of lives which we deserve and are capable of living. It is only when we take on the role of Creator that we have consciously empowered ourselves to move forward with confidence and certainty.
What we have inadvertently been experiencing is an Effect and Cause phenomenon, rather than Cause and Effect. We have given away our power to the people, objects, and circumstances in our lives as if they were the Cause and we were the Effect.
Now with a set up like this, it is no wonder that we feel powerless and victimized at times. Our beliefs have created a reality which does not allow us to express our True Essence. We are living in an illusionary world thinking it is real. A great metaphor for this is the movie trilogy of The Matrix. This is a perfect example of being lost in an illusionary world.
“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.” — Alan Watts —
It’s about time we perform the Reversal of Roles so that we can re-empower ourselves to see things for what they really are, and not what we may think they are based on experience and conditioning as well as future aspirations. This does take effort and persistence but it is all so worth it. Let’s begin.
Open Our Minds to Change
When we discover that we have unnecessarily created a situation where we find ourselves as Effect and not cause, it is necessary to change things around a bit. This will take a little time and effort as well as the willingness to experience some uncomfortable feelings, as we break our habitual patterns apart. There will be some resistance (or maybe even a lot) from the habitual part of ourselves which simply does not want to change.
An important thing to keep in mind about all of this is we are merely changing “concepts” about ourselves, and not our internal essence. We are not going to disappear or go anywhere. In fact, it is this internal essence which we desire to bring to the surface. All this takes is a willingness to open our minds to change.
Changing concepts about ourselves is done by figuring out what these concepts or beliefs are in the first place. It is not like they are hidden from our conscious minds; they are just tucked away in the corners of our minds in which we do not focus our attention. By changing our focus a bit we will discover what is there that has been propelling us through life.
So for the time being, I would suggest carrying a notebook around and jotting down thoughts which come to you in answer to this question, “What do I really believe about _______?”. Don’t force the issue, but let things pop up to you during the course of your Perfect Day. When we are engaged in activities like this, we are having perfect days in which we uncover concepts which have been the cloud cover keeping us from our brilliance and essence. This is an excellent use of our time.
Keep track of your thoughts and feelings in this way, and it will not be long before a whole new world emerges before your very eyes based on love, joy, certainty, and happiness instead of fear, panic, uncertainty, and depression.
So What is a Perfect Day?
It is not what we may have originally thought it was. I would say we are all capable of having perfect days when we accept things as they are by surrendering to the present moment, and in that moment realizing We Are the Cause and not the Effect of what we see and experience. Combining several of those perfect days will catapult ourselves into a world which we may not have previously known existed.
This is something which needs to be experienced rather than described. It is an experience of “knowing” that we are enough just as we are. We do not need to do anything to make ourselves any better, or get the validation of others to feel okay about ourselves.
The part of ourselves which was always there, but merely hidden from view, begins to emerge into our daily lives on a more consistent basis. This is what opens up to us all the opportunity we can ever ask for or imagine.
At this point we have reversed things around so things are no longer upside down where we are in the Effect and Cause paradigm similar to the movie Matrix. We have broken free from the Matrix and have taken our rightful position as Cause of our lives. With this foundation in place we are able to experience the true power which we have always possessed, and direct it in a way which creates for us that Perfect Day.
May All your Days be as Perfect as You!
Love, Joy, and Peace,