Lying to ourselves unfortunately has become a habit that does not serve us well at all. It is not like we are conscious about this most of the time as we are controlled by our default programs.
Even though when we are conscious we tend to follow through with our default way of thinking and acting because of the strong pull of our emotions based on the fear that things will get worse. It does not have to be this way, so let’s explore a few alternatives.
Lying To Ourselves as Part of Our Habitual Nature
“The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.”
Why do we lie to ourselves and how did this become a part of our default programming? As I mentioned above fear is at the core of this, but let’s dig a little deeper and discover how this all comes about.
In part, this revolves around a lack of self-respect because we really don’t know who we are. If we did, we would never even think about lying to ourselves.
We have created a defense mechanism designed to protect ourselves from past pains and traumas as well as help us maintain our outer self-image no matter how fake it may be at times. This allows us to cope with many negative emotions such as guilt, stress, and anxiety.
At other times we create an imaginary scenario to justify actions taken that do not align with our core values. We then tend to project any guilt onto others to alleviate our pain and uncomfortable feelings.
Mourning the Loss of Our Genius Selves
“Do not allow your fire to go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserve and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours.”
Again if we truly knew and understood who we really are none of this nonsense would be taking place. No matter how much we lie to ourselves we cannot extinguish the underlying pain and frustration of not being true to our authentic self.
We are actually in mourning and using all of these defense mechanisms to hide this from ourselves. We rather pretend than face the truth of who we really are.
But, there is a warrior spirit within us that won’t be denied. In a culture filled with uncertainty, insecurity, and volatility there is an inner drive to lead a masterful life overflowing with prosperity, productivity, creativity, and peace of mind.
We must honor our genius self that resides within our hearts and is blind to our doubts and fears. When we realize that “ordinary” is merely a myth based on settling for less than we deserve, we will emerge into a magical existence breaking free from the bondage of superficiality, technological distraction, and needless complexity.
Lying To Ourselves — Sacrificing the Now
Beyond all the temporary pain and suffering that we put upon ourselves, the most horrific part of all this is the total lack of awareness that our innate power exists right here and now in the present moment. Without delving into the past and future realms in our imagination, we would not even be tempted at all to lie to ourselves and deny the incredible magnificence of our being.
When we are centered in the present, we have eliminated the noise in our head even for just a moment, and that in itself is a pleasant relief from the torture that we put ourselves through on a daily basis with thoughts of guilt, doubt, uncertainty, and fear. In the present, we eliminate the noise and identify the cause of our challenges.
This positions us to make constructive changes in how we think and see ourselves, others, and the world.
A Few Simple Steps to Take to Resolve this Issue Once and For All
It is critical to expect, and not be blown away by, resistance and fear that will arise when confronting our underlying issues and defense mechanisms that were put in place at some point in our lives as protection devices.
Here are a few ideas for handling this process:
- When uncomfortable feelings emerge “allow” them to flow. Without giving them undue attention they will simply show up and then slowly dissipate with less and less intensity.
- Jot down any thoughts or ideas related to those feelings as they will reveal the underlying beliefs that caused those feelings in the first place
- Recognize that it’s totally okay to have these beliefs and feelings and that we are quite capable of eliminating their cause when we are fully transparent and honest with ourselves
- Record progress made with notes on a daily basis. Journaling is extremely useful in not only documenting these feelings and thoughts but also being able to see the progress that is being made as a result of being honest with ourselves.
- Over time recognize and consciously feel the sense of peacefulness and contentment that comes with living an authentic life without the fear of being exposed.
- Enjoy this new sense of freedom and realize addressing our fears is a small price to pay as we extend our comfort zones.
- At some point, the realization hits as we have this “aha moment” that there really is nothing to fear as it was all an illusion even though it did feel very real.
Lying to Ourselves No More
“Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.”
Being honest with ourselves set the foundation from which we are able to live authentic lives based on who we really are. We then pursue goals and objectives that are aligned with our true values and abilities.
We are then able to release our inner impulse for excellence that exists within each of us. There is no need to stay paralyzed on average by getting caught up in the current de-professionalism of business and the acceptance of mediocrity.
There is no need to accept limitations in any way as its only credence is the attention we give it. We are powerful beings who have created a story depicting limits within ourselves that do not actually exist.
Doubts, fears, and excuses are the effects of buying into this false belief.
We all have had difficulties in our lives with each day looking the same full of worry and stress. The desire and wonder of our childhood have mysteriously disappeared.
Instead, we have numerous responsibilities that rob us of our energy and creativity. Craving instant gratification of meaningless desires fill our days as we feel strangled by a technology that was designed to serve instead of imprison our souls.
No matter our current circumstances, today is the day to break free by embracing our integrity and honesty. Regardless of our past, our futures can be majestic even though we do not fully understand the immensity of our power.
We are all in this very moment where we need to be in order to express our genius selves and lead exceptional and influential lives. All is good right now, as any misgivings or sense of loss only mean that our fears exceed the strength of our faith.
It just takes a little practice to ignore the noise in our heads and use our minds more constructively.
All of our pains and challenges have actually done us a favor by strengthening ourselves and preparing us for this very moment in time. Without these problems, we would not be able to unleash all of our gifts and talents that are currently awakening within.
There are no accidents as we are all where we need to be without the needless baggage of lying to ourselves.
In Peace & Love with the Light,
Joseph William
P.S. Embrace the Truth Within and share that Truth with an Online Business accessing folks that are just waiting for Your Unique
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Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking and introspective article. It’s true that lying to ourselves can become a habit, and often, we may not even be aware of it.
I totally agree that embracing our uniqueness and letting go of pretenses allows us to experience life in a more profound and meaningful way. Thank you for sharing this wisdom and may we all have the courage to face our fears and live with authenticity.
Thanks so much for your wonderful insights and I look forward that more and more embracing their uniqueness and authenticity.
We do lie to ourselves a lot. I have to admit I did it a lot in the past! We all have this self image and what we accept is the truth about us is sometimes unpleasant.
I learned this when I developed my business. I always tried to act more successful than I really was. However, when I stropped lying to myself and realized the ability to work hard, being persistent, etc. are the real me.
Thanks for sharing, Garen. I can appreciate your thoughts and comments as most of us have fallen into the protecting of our fake self images. All the Best.
Thanks for your post. I find it interesting how you tied in the concept of being true to yourself and owning your own online business. Very creative. Yes, the lie always starts within. We learn to reject what is true for ourselves for fear of displeasing others, fear of being rejected. Our society has conditioned us to believe that what other people think of us is more important than what we think of ourselves. So we go on a journey of other validation instead of self validation. Anyway, thank you for your post.
Thanks, Shalisha. I appreciate your thoughts and comments. I agree that when we are true to ourselves we break free from the false concepts that society has conditioned us to believe. Our freedom lies within and once recognized we can extend it to others. All the Best.